Between a Mohammad and a Hardwood Floor Place

"Eh, 'ellllo, Jush, dis is Mohammad. Deh banging, it 'as not stupped. I don't know whoot to do. Cood you plez cull me back. Okay. Thank you. Gudebye."

A few weeks ago, I got home pretty late. As I walked into the foyer, I heard something upstairs, so I tiptoed to the top and peered around the edge. There, at the end of the hallway, one of my tenants stood banging on the door of apartment 209 as she hissed obscenities and spat anger violently. Come to find out, this argument was the capitulation of a battle that has been going on for months. Mohammad lives in 209 and Amber lives in 301. Apartment 301 happens to be right above apartment 209. And apartment 301 happens to have no carpet, because Amber pulled it up. Not only that, but Amber apparently drops things all the time and has police quality altercations with her boyfriend(a marine). Due to all this, Mohammad has been complaining and looking for a new apartment elsewhere. So tonight, when I get home from catering at some clothing store for women with way too much money to spend due to the large salaries their husbands have, that message is on my machine, "Eh, 'ellllo, Jush...". Well, I don't like things to drag out. So I head up to Mohammad's apartment and ask him if he minds if I hang out for a while to observe the noise. He seems very pleased that I'm paying such personal attention to his situation. He offers me a plate with a banana on it and something wrapped in a paper towel(I'm still wondering if I missed out...). Then I sit. And read my book. "The War of Art" by Steven Pressfield. So far, very inspiring. Pretty much the reason I'm writing this blog. Actually, it IS the reason I'm writing this blog. Lets be honest. I'm spilling my brain out about a story that doesn't have an end yet, and I'm doing so chiefly in hopes that by the end of this little blog, I'm a better writer than before I started it. Is that selfish? Yes. Will I stop writing? No. Because despite the fact that I'm being selfish, I also figure that perhaps my writing can be an inspiration to someone else if for no other reason than I'm writing a lot. Maybe someone will read my writing and think "Wow! How inspiring! This guy makes absolutely no sense and knows it and yet keeps on writing! If he can write word after word of pointlessness and still not feel the need to jump off a tall building right away, maybe I should purue my dream of...(fill in the blank)...calf roping!".

Well Mohammad just called. Apparently the big noises I waited an hour to hear are occuring now that I'm ready to go to bed. Tallyho my friends.

In Response to Thanksgiving

Thinking back, it seem like many of the segments of my life where I've been really happy have been due to contentment with what I've got and where I am. I was thankful for my circumstances. So its apparently a pretty good way to live...focusing on what I'm thankful for. Well, darnit, here it goes.

I'm thankful for my family.

My dad, for his strength and faith, for his incessant ramblings and fascinations.

My mom, for the giving heart and gentleness and love that she set for me as an example.

My brother Jonathan, for his loyalty, his unselfishness, his dreams.

My brother Matt, for his leadership, his integrity, his wit.

My sister Angela, for her consistently positive outlook, her love in its various forms, her availability.

My brother-in-law Evan, for his follow-through, his hard love, his friendship.

My granny, for her get-it-done mentality, for her unselfishness, for her relentlessness.

...and the rest of my family for the examples they've set.

To all my friends in Murfreesboro, Nashville, Los Angeles, New York, and the places beyond and in between, for what you've turned me into. My personality is largely a conglomerate of those that have allowed me into their lives, livingrooms, and refrigerators.

To God, I am thankful for everything that I'm thankful for. While He's taken from me at times, He has given me so much more than I could ever have asked for in a lifetime of prayers. He's given me everything I've needed to be where and who I am today, to serve His perfect will, and He's apparently still not finished. I am alive for another day, and that's a good thing because I haven't paid my phone bill and I have to take a friend to the airport...

If you're reading this, its too late. I simply must go to bed. Tomorrow is a new day and I want to be ready for it. If I'm to take better advantage of my brain, I need sleep asap. I even bought some blueberries, though they're a bit large which makes me think they probably are pumped full of hormones and laced with pesticides and therefore must be less nutritious. Ugh! Nutritious is a grose word. Who created it? Ah, "nutritius...that suckles,nourishes...". Latin. That's why Latin is a basically a dead language. Because of words like nutritious...I'm biting my fingernail. The middle finger of my left hand if you're wondering. Apparently the desire to bite nails comes not only from nerves but from a bodily craving for calcium. Don't ask me why I know that because I have no idea and frankly, I'm a bit impressed with myself. Goodnight.

The Brain

I've been waking up pretty late recently. And when I do, my brain seems to work like an offspeed pitch. Sometimes it gets ya and sometimes its just slow. So I wonder, how can I effect my brain to churn out more brainpower? Obviously, going to bed early and getting up early seem to be good ideas. Beyond that, the only thing I know for sure is blueberries. They're supposed to boost memory. I'm gonna find an article to support that right now...Found it!

"Blueberries: - Studies show that diets rich in berries, and most specifically blueberries, greatly improves motor skills and learning capacity. Research also shows that blueberries help reduce the effects of age-related conditions such as Alzheimer's disease and dementia and protect the brain from oxidative stress. The most interesting news is that blueberries not only slow brain decline, they can actually reverse it and improve memory. Wild Blueberries, with regular blueberries behind that, are shown to have the highest antioxidant capacity per serving. Cranberries, blackberries, raspberries and strawberries are also extremely high in brain-boosting benefit. **Recommendation: Add at least 1 cup of fresh or frozen blueberries or other berries a day to your diet."

-http://ayurveda-foryou.com/health_articles/boost_brainpower1.html


I've also speculated that if I work out more often and eat the right types and amounts of foods I'll start to perform at a higher level. When I say perform at a higher level, I mean at life in general. Who are some guys that churned out a lot of brainpower? Albert Einstein...Thomas Jefferson...Plato...Socrates...Morons! I wonder what they ate and how they worked out. 'Cause we all know they did. Eat. And work out like dogs. I'm gonna find an article to support this too...Aha! A journal entry from a definite family member!

"I awoke the next morning eager to see what happened. I looked at the crib and found...nothing!!! There was not a trace of pepper paste to be found. There was more wood showing and Mster had pepper flakes all over her face. SHE ATE THE PASTE!!! (oh and all her toys were jammed up against the opposite side of her crib)"

http://squishyburrito.blogspot.com/2005/10/did-einstein-eat-paste.html

I did not realize Einstein was a girl, but this article is fascinating. A rare childhood account.

Much, much more to learn. I'll do my best to dig up these rare gems.

Choices

I had dinner with a friend tonight. He's a liberal Jew. I'm a conservative Christian. Our conversation ranged from the writers strike in hollywood... to how I juggle all my jobs... to The Velvet Mafia(Gay mafia)... to nudity and pushing the limits in television. At the tail end of the night, we came back upon the subject of homosexuality. My friend had me read a scene from a script for an upcoming episode of "Dirt". The role was decent sized. He wants me to audition for it. I'm thankful that he even thinks of me in the first place. There's a problem though. The character is a teen heartthrob that is about to have his career ruined when he's arrested at a gay bar for...well lets just say "lude conduct". Here is my dilemma. You don't see any of this "stuff". Its just talked about in the past tense. While this "lude conduct" is not glorified, it also does not seem to be looked down on in any sense. Where do you draw the line? $1,000? $5,000? I haven't decided how much money I would have to be paid yet. Anyways, I want acting work. I want money. I want want want. What are the consequences of taking a job like this? What are the consequences of not taking a job like this? I don't really need to know. Just as I am wrote that last sentence, it occurred to me, "look in the bible for the answer". And then, a moment later, I'm thinking of some verse which is somewhat like this shoddy paraphrase "such things(evil) should not even be uttered among you". That's perhaps one of the worst paraphrases in the history of mankind. Basically I'm trying to say that what comes out of my mouth should be pure and holy and pleasing to God. Anything else is death.

Yesterday, I took a shower, got dressed, cleaned up the apartment, and headed down the long hallway to the front door of my apartment building. As it swung open, there on the front steps was a small pile of feces. Why? I do not know. I stood there, looking at it, shaking my head as if to say "yep, yep, yep, nice job cowboy. whoever you are. game on". Someone put this stuff right in front of the door at the top of the steps to make a statement. Perhaps it was a homeless person but I don't think a homeless person would have the ability to position their waste so symmetrically. Actually, it was probably an animal's. So when I finally stopped nodding my head, half-smile upon my face, half evil look upon my face, I cleaned it all up. And left. Maybe after living in literal Hollywood for eight months now, I've finally gotten it. My personalized welcome to Hollywood. Next step, one of those stars...

I find myself changing over time. Weird right? Used to, I was the guy that nobody didn't like. Maybe I still am. But the big difference these days is, I speak my mind more often. When someone tries to push me over or get away with some sort of injustice, I say something. Whether its on the basketball court where some dude makes an obviously horrible call, at the restaraunt I manage where some customer becomes offensively rude, or outside my apartment building where a dogwalker lets his mutt leave dung on our property, I now usually try to voice my distaste with their actions. Its a weird change for a guy who used to want everything to be "okay", whatever that is. I'm fighting against my developed nature. And its fun. But also uncomfortable at times. Because I'm also trying to love people more fully on a daily basis. And it would seem that confronting people causes my love to take a backseat. But then again, maybe I'm redefining what loving is for me. Love isn't being nice. It isn't smiling. It isn't letting people get away with their actions. Love is something different entirely. It is humbling yourself and putting others above you. Genuinely caring about others. Which does not disclude halting someone when his or her words or deeds are detrimental to those around them. To truly love someone, you have to earnestly be more concerned with their welfare than your own. You have to be willing to risk losing a friendship in exchange for telling the truth. A good friend might be stuck in corrosive habits and as a friend loving a friend, you have a job. Even if its uncomfortable. I guess I'm just saying that love can be and probably should be a bit uncomfortable at times.

Watching good movies

I saw two really good and really different movies tonight. "No Country for Old Men" and "Dan in Real Life". And as I'm sitting there watching, I start to get inspired. And somewhere in the back of my head, I'm saying to myself "you can do this stuff. You can write and create movies like this". I don't know why I think that. Because when I sit down to write, I can't figure out the story. Maybe I get an idea for a story, but I can never decide on all the pieces and then assemble them. So why do I have this confidence? Yea, maybe its that same naive notion a lot of people get when they watch actors. A great actor makes it look easy and then because it looked so easy we say "I could do that", when in reality we are so far from being able to do whatever they just did that if we lived three lifetimes we might never learn to act. Not to say you can't work really hard at something and become pretty good or very good. But I think some people are simply born to be great at something. That doesn't mean they live up to the potential, and oftentimes they never apply themselves. Either they endured some huge tragedy and nothing means anything. Or they're just plain lazy and constantly think they're going to do something great because its all so simple to them. Because they're a genius. But they never actually DO anything. So right now I'm wondering, are you a genius, a bum, or an idiot? Perhaps its possible to be all three. And perhaps, well no more perhapses. My point is made, or its not. Either way I'm done talking.

Books on Dating

I sat in Barnes and Noble today for about two hours. In one hand, "I Kissed Dating Goodbye", an idealistic book about treating women like sisters until you're ready to marry. In my other hand, "The Mystery Method", a formulized manual on how to get every woman you never thought possible into bed as soon as possible. The irony was far too much and I started laughing out loud every so often. Subconciously, I kept switching back and forth between the two. I wonder what the authors would think if they were here now. One book emphasizes sex. The other emphasizes relationship. One is about getting what you want. One is about giving what God wants. I'm still gonna finish the "Method" 'cause I think God would want me to know how to rack up women more efficiently.

Music in Repeat

Am I the only person that listens to songs on repeat for hours sometimes? Right now its the theme song from "In America" and when I turn it on I have a very hard time changing the song. I think about it every now and then when I pull out of my trance, but start to feel guilty at the idea of abandoning the song for another one. Realistically, it must base down to the fact that I want that particular emotional feeling that the song agitates. But I can't get enough of that feeling. Or is it that the song happens to sountrack my mood perfectly and I find comfort in that?

My last question, who cares?

Its getting cold outside in LA. The fall has even found its way into california. I'd say it must be global warming, but wait, that wouldn't make sense would it? Go buy some whole grain.