Yesterday, I took a shower, got dressed, cleaned up the apartment, and headed down the long hallway to the front door of my apartment building. As it swung open, there on the front steps was a small pile of feces. Why? I do not know. I stood there, looking at it, shaking my head as if to say "yep, yep, yep, nice job cowboy. whoever you are. game on". Someone put this stuff right in front of the door at the top of the steps to make a statement. Perhaps it was a homeless person but I don't think a homeless person would have the ability to position their waste so symmetrically. Actually, it was probably an animal's. So when I finally stopped nodding my head, half-smile upon my face, half evil look upon my face, I cleaned it all up. And left. Maybe after living in literal Hollywood for eight months now, I've finally gotten it. My personalized welcome to Hollywood. Next step, one of those stars...