Who What Where?

What am I doing? Where am I going? Am I wasting my time? Will I end up unsuccessful? A washed up underachiever? Will my wife be less pretty and less impressive than what I dream of? Are the dreams I have going to unfold in time or will they simply float off into the world's sea of undone aspirations? What if I could tie up all the lose ends in my life? If I could get to bed earlier, finish writing my first screenplay, my first novel, truly allow myself to fall in love with someone, win the lead role in a movie by my unimpeded passion, live morally impeccably, have a full blown sixpack, call my family everyday, learn to play the guitar, journey around the world into every nook and cranny, learn italian, german, chinese, french, spanish, swahili, japanese. Would I be happy then? Would I be happier then? What is stopping me from accomplishing all this? Forecasts of low quality product? Less than stellar work? Marginal talent revealed? But would that really be so bad? Is it safe to assume most people never learn what they are and are not capable of because they never push far enough? Would the joy of searching for those walls in the process knock them down? I cannot be certain, but the idea is definitely exciting.