Maybe We Can Figure it out Together

I tried to decide what the point of life was. Solomon's words, though I rarely read them, began to echo in my head.

"When I applied my mind to know wisdom and to observe man's labor on earth—his eyes not seeing sleep day or night-then I saw all that God has done. No one can comprehend what goes on under the sun. Despite all his efforts to search it out, man cannot discover its meaning. Even if a wise man claims he knows, he cannot really comprehend it."

Then I got into an instant message conversation...



Josh: do you ever listen to songs on repeat way too many times in a row?

Grace: oh yes. I do that with most of my songs/ albums, actually. I have to wait years before I can enjoy them again

Josh: YESSSS!!!

Grace: which song are you having this experience with?

Josh: But when you finally remember to come back to them, or decide you'll listen to the album(even though mentally it doesn't draw your interest), its like hearing it for the first time again. well yesterday and today its been "while we wait" by Jack Johnson

Grace: Have you heard A Fine Frenzy yet?

Josh: yes!!

Grace: "You Picked Me" is my favorite thus far

Josh: lookin it up on itunes...

Grace: I almost cried when I heard that song because it made me think of God

Josh: downloading it...

Grace: I'm kind of sensitive like that. I cried at the ballet on Friday night too, haha!

Josh: that's great! i cried when I saw "Dan in Real Life"...which is a comedy.

Grace: Which part?

Josh: but I'm still a man!

Grace: Haha, but of course!

Josh: when he plays the guitar...can I ask you a deep question?

Grace: yes of course

Josh: quotations around deep

Grace: haha

Josh: what is the point of your life?

Grace: great question!

Grace: I'm not sure I know completely, but I have an inkling...Wow, I'm not entirely sure I can answer in this little message. If you really want to know I can try to write it out in a message to you

Josh: Yeah.

Grace: I've never actually written it out before, but I'll give it a go. I think it would be an excellent reminder. Plus, I would love to know what you think. What is the point of your life, Josh?

Josh: I'll probably know best by the time I die. I'll write it out

Grace: Great!

Josh: so much seems so illogical, so irrational, that as time goes by it gets harder to see the necessity in much of anything. I suppose thats the sentiment Solomon had with all his riches.

Grace: Yeah...Josh, I really want to step out of it all for a bit, you know? This has been a really strange season for me. Wonderful, but I miss stillness.

Josh: what do you mean by "it"? all the stuff you're supposed to be doing?

Josh: italics on "supposed"

Grace: Yes. There is always something to produce or something to engage in or something/one to tend to. I've suddenly become an extremely "busy" person. I want to connect with Dad on some seriously deep levels again, I feel like it's been a long time. I think I can bless and love people so much more when I can invite them into rest with Him instead of a whirlwind of social preoccupation. I'm so thankful that I was hidden for so long with him

Josh: What do you mean "hidden"? I assume you mean socially...and I feel the same way. I feel stretched every direction.

Grace: I don't know how to explain it really. I suppose you would have had to have known me before to really understand. Yes, socially I was below the radar until just recently, actually. The only one I felt truly known by was the Lord, and that was and is still such an intimate connection. But now there are a lot of people who know me and love me. It is such a gift, but it's just different. But it was more than just that. How do you feel stretched?

Josh: I seem to move in two speeds...the one where I seem to pass through life like a north-easterly wind that gently collides with other winds and breezes. We move in and out of eachother effortlessly. Then I get sucked in by a storm of tornadoes in the form of people with agendas, alcohol dominated parties, late nights. the rat race of competition to find a wife, to make a certain amount of money, to fit in. I haven't put this into words before so I don't know if it makes any sense. There are times in my life where I just sit and know that I can just sit. While people chatter all around. And then there are times in my life where I sit and think I have to be sitting a certain way.

Grace: I understand.

Grace: Haha, yeah. Even the quiet moments can be flooded with expectations

Josh: Yes

Josh: I sat watching a movie last night with a friend, and started staring at the ceiling. I was wondering what it would be like to serve God in every moment. And I got that fuzzy feeling. And then it got interrupted because my friend asked what I was doing. It only lasted a moment, but I still wonder. Its that feeling that seems to get interrupted far too often. Maybe its that pursuit of God that keeps getting disturbed. Maybe that's all you and I can really ever figure out. That we think there IS a God and that he DID die for us and that we want to keep pursuing him and seeking to serve his desire for our life. We will doubt, we will question, but we keep seeking to serve.

Grace: Josh, I want a God vacation. I want to get lost in him because He always meets me. That's exactly what I want just some time with him to soak in His radiant love and be free to worship Him in thought and action without concern for appearance. I know it might sound really corny but that is what i want with all my heart.

Josh: that's freedom

Grace: I am his daughter and ambassador. I have to know him to know myself and my purpose. Without fresh encounters with Him, I seem to loose sight of my identity, purpose, and authority. Plus, He is my Joy. I glow with joy when I am aware of his love for me

Josh: I don't think I need to saying anything back to that.

Grace: Oh, just checked the time. I have to run to my mom's, she is having a birthday party for me and my sis

Josh: you're pretty unique. now get out of here with your uniqueness

Josh: !

Grace: Hahaha! I will speak to you again soon, Josh (though it may have to be after my exams this week). Hope you have a lovely evening!

Josh: Thanks. OH! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Josh: Its good to be alive!