JOY JOY JOY

My wrist has been a little screwed up for a while now. But I continue to play sports regardless. I know its not the wisest decision, but I love to play, and sometimes its hard to "throw in the towel" for the time being. Its weird. Seems like I've gotten hurt more in the last year than usual. And it also seems like I don't heal as quickly. Even the scabs that magically appear, the ones you have no idea how they got there, don't seem to go away at what I consider a normal speed. I'm getting old. That's the bottom line. Not older. Old. I'm tired. I complain a lot. I roll my eyes more. I repeat myself. I go to bed earlier. I get up earlier. I need to shave every two days instead of every two weeks.

On the positive side, I also appear to be getting younger in some ways. I get upset when I don't get my way. I like shiny toys and all other toys. Well that's all the positive I can think of...

That's all for now. Hope this has been thoroughly interesting. Stay tuned for more amazing facts and epiphanies on the next episode of "Nobody's Reading Anyways".

Frozen

The soft laughter, the quiet smiles,
seem to fade away, echoing off the walls of my heart as they pass, day by day.

Not much lives here, deep inside.
Its much too cold, a frozen heart bleeding heat tonight.

Which is worse, losing someone or losing touch with the very memory of them? Its like a second death. I wish my brain worked better. I wish I could remember everything. But then I'd remember the good and the bad. Maybe we're better off that way. Sacrificing our good memories so we can forget the bad ones too. Its so hard, because those memories are imprinted on our souls. Even as we forget, there is a feeling that something is leaving, and whether good or bad, letting go or being abandoned by those memories hurts. There is life in those memories. And when they go, some bit of life leaves me too. As much as I'd like to fill my heart with replacements, it doesn't seem to work that way. Losing someone you love is irreplaceable. Our joys and sorrows are independent of one another. But I can choose what to focus on. I can choose to set my eyes on the good, beautiful things of this earth and beyond. I am a wounded heart, as we all are, to differing extents, but I am not broken. My heart may freeze over for a while, but warmer weather eventually returns.